Some things certain marketers do just amaze me – that they were done at all! I can understand a strategy that’s poorly conceived or a tactic that goes horribly wrong. But self-inflicted stupidity is something that never ceases to amaze me.
For instance, if you travel north on TTK Road from Adyar Park, in Madras, you will find a hotel on the right just before Alwarpet junction. The hotel is named ‘One Way’!
What are they trying to say? That you can go in; but you won’t be able to come out???
But the winners in this game, without a shade of doubt, are the marketing wizards of the brand, Kaya Clinic. What did they do? Nothing. Just that they happen to be lead sponsors of a fantastic programme on Discovery Channel titled ‘Seconds to Disaster’.
Ladies and Gentlemen, here is exactly how the sponsorship sounds on the channel:
‘SECONDS TO DISASTER’ IS BROUGHT TO YOU BY KAYA CLINIC.
Now, what are the respected Indian Ivy League MBA’s running the brand trying to tell us? Entering Kaya Clinic is just seconds to disaster???
Shit Marketing!
Friday, July 27, 2007
Saturday, July 21, 2007
Ah Marketing!
Boeing recently launched a new brand of airplane – 787 Dreamliner – in its headquarters, Seattle. In an unprecedented move – for marketing in general and Boeing in particular – the launch event was broadcast live via webcast in nine languages across 45 countries.
In all, the 787 premiere potentially reached 100 million or more viewers, making it one of the largest corporate TV and Internet broadcasts in history.
To date, 47 customers worldwide have ordered 677 airplanes worth a staggering $110 billion making the Dreamliner the most successful commercial airplane launch in history.
What’s the big deal, you wonder.
The launch was meticulously designed to be on 8th July 2007.
So? You ask.
The 787 was launched on 7-8-07.
Ah marketing!
P.S: Americans use month first and then the date. Remember 9-11.
In all, the 787 premiere potentially reached 100 million or more viewers, making it one of the largest corporate TV and Internet broadcasts in history.
To date, 47 customers worldwide have ordered 677 airplanes worth a staggering $110 billion making the Dreamliner the most successful commercial airplane launch in history.
What’s the big deal, you wonder.
The launch was meticulously designed to be on 8th July 2007.
So? You ask.
The 787 was launched on 7-8-07.
Ah marketing!
P.S: Americans use month first and then the date. Remember 9-11.
Monday, July 16, 2007
Advertising Sense
An ad team is working very late at night on a project due the next morning. Suddenly, a Genie appears before them and offers to grant them all one wish.
The Copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece." The Genie says "No problem!" And poof! The Copywriter is gone.
The Art Director says: "I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Lourve Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting." The Genie says, "Your wish is granted! And poof! The Art Director is gone.
The Genie then turns to the Account Executive and says "And what is your wish?" The poor hapless Account Executive who is fighting a client deadline says with a stern face, "I want those two assholes back here right now."
The Copywriter says: "I've always dreamed of writing the great American novel and having my work studied in schools across the land. I'd like to go to a tropical island where I can concentrate and write my masterpiece." The Genie says "No problem!" And poof! The Copywriter is gone.
The Art Director says: "I want to create a painting so beautiful that it would hang in the Lourve Museum in Paris for all the world to admire. I want to go to the French countryside to work on my painting." The Genie says, "Your wish is granted! And poof! The Art Director is gone.
The Genie then turns to the Account Executive and says "And what is your wish?" The poor hapless Account Executive who is fighting a client deadline says with a stern face, "I want those two assholes back here right now."
Monday, July 09, 2007
Retail Sense
A retailer was dismayed when a competitor selling the same type of product opened next-door to him, displaying a large sign proclaiming ‘Best Deals’.
Not long after he was horrified to find yet another competitor move in next-door, on the other side if his store. Its large sign was even more disturbing- ‘Lowest Prices’.
After his initial panic, and concern that he would be driven out of business, he looked for a way to turn the situation to his marketing advantage. Finally, an idea came to him. Next day, he proudly unveiled a new and huge sign over his front door.
It read, ‘Main Entrance’!
Not long after he was horrified to find yet another competitor move in next-door, on the other side if his store. Its large sign was even more disturbing- ‘Lowest Prices’.
After his initial panic, and concern that he would be driven out of business, he looked for a way to turn the situation to his marketing advantage. Finally, an idea came to him. Next day, he proudly unveiled a new and huge sign over his front door.
It read, ‘Main Entrance’!
Tuesday, July 03, 2007
Sales Sense
A keen Texas lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. The store was the biggest in the world and sold everything under the sun.
"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.
"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered. The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.
"One," said the lad.
"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Exactly $101,334,533," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the boss, flabbergasted.
"Well," said the lad, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him new GMC 1-ton pickup truck."
"You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?" the boss asked in astonishment.
"He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife, and I said to him, "your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishing."
"Have you ever been a salesman before?" the boss asked during his interview.
"Yes, I was a salesman in Texas," the lad answered. The boss took an immediate liking to him and told him he could start the next day. "I'll come and see how you made out after we close up," the boss said.
The day was long and hard for the young man, but finally it was 5 o'clock. The boss closed up the store and found the lad sitting slumped and exhausted, in a chair. "How many sales did you make today?" the boss asked.
"One," said the lad.
"One?" said the boss, obviously displeased. "Most of the sales people on my staff make 20 or 30 sales a day. How much was the sale worth?"
"Exactly $101,334,533," said the young man.
"How did you manage that?" asked the boss, flabbergasted.
"Well," said the lad, "this man came in and I sold him a small fish hook, then a medium fish hook, and finally a really large hook. Then I sold him a small fishing line, a medium one, and huge one. I asked him where he was going fishing, and he said he was going down the coast. I said he'd probably need a boat, so I took him down to the boat department and sold him that fancy 22-foot Chris Craft with twin engines. Then he said his Honda Civic probably wouldn't be able to handle the load, so I took him to the vehicle department and sold him new GMC 1-ton pickup truck."
"You sold all that to guy who came in for a fish hook?" the boss asked in astonishment.
"He came in to buy a box of sanitary napkins for his wife, and I said to him, "your weekend's shot. You might as well go fishing."
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Business Sense
A factory’s marketing manager takes a visiting customer on a tour of a latex products factory.
At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the marketer. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"
"Wait a minute!" says the customer. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
At the first stop, he's shown the machine that manufactures baby-bottle nipples. The machine makes a loud hiss-pop noise.
"The hiss is the rubber being injected into the mold," explains the marketer. "The popping sound is a needle poking a hole in the end of the nipple."
Later, the tour reaches the part of the factory where condoms are manufactured. The machine makes a noise: "Hiss. Hiss. Hiss. Hiss-pop!"
"Wait a minute!" says the customer. "I understand what the 'hiss, hiss,' is, but what's that 'pop!' every so often?"
"Oh, it's just the same as in the baby-bottle nipple machine," says the guide. "It pokes a hole in every fourth condom."
"Well, that can't be good for the condoms!"
"Yeah, but it's great for the baby-bottle nipple business!"
Thursday, June 14, 2007
The Power of PR
I just finished reading ‘The Fall of Advertising & the Rise of PR’. The title actually is a misnomer. The authors, Al Ries and Laura Ries, are not proposing that advertising is dead and buried. Instead they claim advertising isn’t as powerful as it used to be and should be used more as a support to a well-orchestrated PR plan.
Their theory is simple: Build brands with PR and once it is established maintain it with advertising. They give enough and more case studies of brands that have taken this route: Microsoft, Starbucks, Body Shop, Linux, PlayStation, Viagra etc.,
I would strongly recommend this book to you irrespective of where you are - advertising, marketing or PR. Nicely written, neatly presented with powerful examples…the book could be described with the clichéd word ‘unputdownable’!
And as irony would have it, the next book I just picked up to read (which is still work under progress) is an old classic (all classics are old, right!) - All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. A book that became popular not by advertising but by brilliant PR and word of mouth. The story of its popularity is presented in the front flap cover of the book itself. I quote it verbatim:
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten began as Robert Fulghum’s attempt to write a simple credo. In his capacity as a Unitarian minister, he shared his statement of belief with his congregation and then read it at a primary school celebration. As fate would have it, Washington’s Senator Dan Evans was in the audience. Impressed and touched by what he had heard, he requested a copy of Robert Fulghum’s speech and took it back with him to Washington, D.C., where it was eventually read into the Congressional Record.
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten made its way from Washington to the Kansas City Times, which ran Robert Fulghum’s observations in its Sunday edition. The response was overwhelming.
The snowball of enthusiasm keeps building. Portions of the piece were printed in ‘Dear Abby’ and Reader’s Digest. Paul Harvey and Larry King read it to millions on their radio shows and Southwestern Bell sold hundreds of thousands of copies as a poster to its customers. Robert Fulghum’s simple credo was photocopied, sent to loved ones and posted on bulletin boards at schools throughout the country.
The book went on to sell more than millions around the world. All this and more accomplished without a single shred of advertising!
Their theory is simple: Build brands with PR and once it is established maintain it with advertising. They give enough and more case studies of brands that have taken this route: Microsoft, Starbucks, Body Shop, Linux, PlayStation, Viagra etc.,
I would strongly recommend this book to you irrespective of where you are - advertising, marketing or PR. Nicely written, neatly presented with powerful examples…the book could be described with the clichéd word ‘unputdownable’!
And as irony would have it, the next book I just picked up to read (which is still work under progress) is an old classic (all classics are old, right!) - All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten by Robert Fulghum. A book that became popular not by advertising but by brilliant PR and word of mouth. The story of its popularity is presented in the front flap cover of the book itself. I quote it verbatim:
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten began as Robert Fulghum’s attempt to write a simple credo. In his capacity as a Unitarian minister, he shared his statement of belief with his congregation and then read it at a primary school celebration. As fate would have it, Washington’s Senator Dan Evans was in the audience. Impressed and touched by what he had heard, he requested a copy of Robert Fulghum’s speech and took it back with him to Washington, D.C., where it was eventually read into the Congressional Record.
All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten made its way from Washington to the Kansas City Times, which ran Robert Fulghum’s observations in its Sunday edition. The response was overwhelming.
The snowball of enthusiasm keeps building. Portions of the piece were printed in ‘Dear Abby’ and Reader’s Digest. Paul Harvey and Larry King read it to millions on their radio shows and Southwestern Bell sold hundreds of thousands of copies as a poster to its customers. Robert Fulghum’s simple credo was photocopied, sent to loved ones and posted on bulletin boards at schools throughout the country.
The book went on to sell more than millions around the world. All this and more accomplished without a single shred of advertising!
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Marketers Vs Accountants
Three marketers and three accountants are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three accountants each buy tickets and watch as the three marketers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks an accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three marketers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the marketers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the marketers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.
When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three marketers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the marketers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.
They all board the train. The accountants take their respective seats but all three marketers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The accountants saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the accountants decide to copy the marketers on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the marketers don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed accountant.
"Watch and you'll see," answers a marketer.
When they board the train, the three accountants cram into a restroom and the three marketers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the marketers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the accountants are hiding.
He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
Monday, May 21, 2007
Is economics boring?
I find it surprising when most students I meet say economics is a boring subject. I find it even more appalling when MBA’s and marketing majors say it. Well, they would do well to know that economics is the mother of marketing. Most marketing theories be it consumer behaviour, market dynamics, competition, pricing and more have all been derived from economic theory.
If you subscribe to the view that economics is boring, or even worse, that economics is not for me, I intend correcting your opinion about economics. Not by telling how economics is useful but by telling you how it is not boring…by listing a few hilarious quotes from economics. Enjoy!
An economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory.
A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'
All the great economic ills the world has faced can be directly traced back to the London School of Economics.
Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
The first law of economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The second law of economists: They're both wrong.
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up thus: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.
If you subscribe to the view that economics is boring, or even worse, that economics is not for me, I intend correcting your opinion about economics. Not by telling how economics is useful but by telling you how it is not boring…by listing a few hilarious quotes from economics. Enjoy!
An economist is somebody who sees something happen in practice and wonders if it will work in theory.
A man explained inflation to his wife thus: 'When we married, you measured 36-24-36. Now you're 42-42-42. There's more of you, but you are not worth as much.'
All the great economic ills the world has faced can be directly traced back to the London School of Economics.
Making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg. It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else.
The first law of economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist. The second law of economists: They're both wrong.
The economy depends about as much on economists as the weather does on weather forecasters.
Inflation is when you pay fifteen dollars for the ten-dollar haircut you used to get for five dollars when you had hair.
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job.
An economist is a man who knows a hundred ways of making love but doesn’t know any women.
Government's view of the economy could be summed up thus: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidise it.
Friday, May 11, 2007
Prosecute the protectionists
One of the many things that dominate the marketing scene these days has got nothing to do with marketing. It’s got to do with stupid politics (well, when was politics anything else). It’s the increasing clamour by politicians and spineless businessmen and some stupid sections of public who get swayed by the formers’ arguments – a clamour for protection – ‘save the small retailer from the threat of multinational monsters, ‘protect small industry from the tyranny of foreign competition’ etc.
All the arguments bandied about in support of protection could be rebutted with impeccable economic logic but allow me to quote a funny anecdote from the annals of economic history. It’s called ‘the Candlemakers’ Petition’.
The Candlemakers' Petition is a well-known satire of protectionism written and published in 1845 by the French economist Frédéric Bastiat as part of his Economic Fallacies. In the Candlemakers' petition, the candle makers and industrialists from other parts of the lighting industry petition the Chamber of Deputies of the French July Monarchy (1830–1848) to protect their trade from the unfair competition of a foreign power.
Guess who the foreign power is? Therein lies the satire! I have abridged the actual petition here. Enjoy.
“We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low price; for the moment he appears, our sales cease, all the consumers turn to him, and a branch of French industry whose ramifications are innumerable is all at once reduced to complete stagnation.
This rival is none other than the sun!
We ask you to be so good as to pass a law requiring the closing of all windows, dormers, skylights, inside and outside shutters, curtains, casements, bull's-eyes, deadlights, and blinds -- in short, all openings, holes, chinks, and fissures through which the light of the sun is wont to enter houses, to the detriment of the candle industry.
Be good enough, honourable deputies, to take our request seriously, and do not reject it without at least hearing the reason. If you shut off as much as possible all access to natural light, and thereby create a need for artificial light, the candle industry in France will ultimately be encouraged.
Will you tell us that, though we may gain by this protection, France will not gain at all, because the consumer will bear the expense?
We have our answer ready: You no longer have the right to invoke the interests of the consumer. You have sacrificed him whenever you have found his interests opposed to those of the producer. You have done so in order to encourage industry and to increase employment. For the same reason you ought to do so this time too.”
If you wish to read the entire petition here is the place to find it:
http://www.ccsindia.org/ccsindia/lacs/25candlemakers_petition.pdf
Read this, especially the next time you feel there should be some industry that needs to be protected from competition.
All the arguments bandied about in support of protection could be rebutted with impeccable economic logic but allow me to quote a funny anecdote from the annals of economic history. It’s called ‘the Candlemakers’ Petition’.
The Candlemakers' Petition is a well-known satire of protectionism written and published in 1845 by the French economist Frédéric Bastiat as part of his Economic Fallacies. In the Candlemakers' petition, the candle makers and industrialists from other parts of the lighting industry petition the Chamber of Deputies of the French July Monarchy (1830–1848) to protect their trade from the unfair competition of a foreign power.
Guess who the foreign power is? Therein lies the satire! I have abridged the actual petition here. Enjoy.
“We are suffering from the ruinous competition of a rival who apparently works under conditions so far superior to our own for the production of light that he is flooding the domestic market with it at an incredibly low price; for the moment he appears, our sales cease, all the consumers turn to him, and a branch of French industry whose ramifications are innumerable is all at once reduced to complete stagnation.
This rival is none other than the sun!
We ask you to be so good as to pass a law requiring the closing of all windows, dormers, skylights, inside and outside shutters, curtains, casements, bull's-eyes, deadlights, and blinds -- in short, all openings, holes, chinks, and fissures through which the light of the sun is wont to enter houses, to the detriment of the candle industry.
Be good enough, honourable deputies, to take our request seriously, and do not reject it without at least hearing the reason. If you shut off as much as possible all access to natural light, and thereby create a need for artificial light, the candle industry in France will ultimately be encouraged.
Will you tell us that, though we may gain by this protection, France will not gain at all, because the consumer will bear the expense?
We have our answer ready: You no longer have the right to invoke the interests of the consumer. You have sacrificed him whenever you have found his interests opposed to those of the producer. You have done so in order to encourage industry and to increase employment. For the same reason you ought to do so this time too.”
If you wish to read the entire petition here is the place to find it:
http://www.ccsindia.org/ccsindia/lacs/25candlemakers_petition.pdf
Read this, especially the next time you feel there should be some industry that needs to be protected from competition.
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
Is more the merrier?
…. maybe in life, but definitely not while your are positioning your brand or offering a promise. Brevity is the soul of wit and brand positioning.
Lux is glamour.
Dettol is protection.
Axe is sexual attraction.
Close Up is fresh breath.
What is Colgate? Yup, protection.
And what is Pepsodent? Protection, again?
How can two brands in the same category have the same positioning and still survive to tell the tale? They both did, didn’t they? Colgate has around 40% market share and Pepsodent has around 20% or so.
Pepsodent was younger; has far more modern imageries and is probably more kiddish than Colgate, which is older, serious and motherly. And Pepsodent has a strong ‘reason to believe’ – Germi-check formula (whatever that meant!).
And then something happened. The marketing whiz kids at Levers relaunched Pepsodent aka giving the brand a face-lift.
‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ – Pepsodent now fights 10!
The more the merrier!
Why just fight germs. Now let your toothpaste fight ……wait a minute. What are the 10 things that Pepsodent fights with?
Do you remember…..at least one of them? That’s the point. And that’s Pepsodent’s problem today.
Give the human mind one thing to remember and chances are high it would. Give it more than one, and it remembers none. Give it ten, and recalling them is anything but fun!
Germi-check was easy to remember. ‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ is easy to remember too but what’s difficult to remember is what those 10 things are. Consumers can’t recall. And when consumers can’t recall they don’t realize why they should buy the brand. And when they don’t realize that, they don’t actually buy the brand. Period.
It is already being evident. A recent press report quotes industry figures and states Pepsodent grew only 2% last year. The industry, though, grew by 14%.
A new growing brand like Pepsodent has stopped growing and is almost stagnating.
Surprised? I am. Not that it is stagnating but that it actually managed to grow in spite of the confused revamp.
By the way, Colgate grew, thank you. They have just one thing to establish – protection. And they are doing it well and doing fine in the market too.
More, in the context of brand positioning or promise, is no merry. Just a cause for worry!
Lux is glamour.
Dettol is protection.
Axe is sexual attraction.
Close Up is fresh breath.
What is Colgate? Yup, protection.
And what is Pepsodent? Protection, again?
How can two brands in the same category have the same positioning and still survive to tell the tale? They both did, didn’t they? Colgate has around 40% market share and Pepsodent has around 20% or so.
Pepsodent was younger; has far more modern imageries and is probably more kiddish than Colgate, which is older, serious and motherly. And Pepsodent has a strong ‘reason to believe’ – Germi-check formula (whatever that meant!).
And then something happened. The marketing whiz kids at Levers relaunched Pepsodent aka giving the brand a face-lift.
‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ – Pepsodent now fights 10!
The more the merrier!
Why just fight germs. Now let your toothpaste fight ……wait a minute. What are the 10 things that Pepsodent fights with?
Do you remember…..at least one of them? That’s the point. And that’s Pepsodent’s problem today.
Give the human mind one thing to remember and chances are high it would. Give it more than one, and it remembers none. Give it ten, and recalling them is anything but fun!
Germi-check was easy to remember. ‘Dus nahi toh bas nahi’ is easy to remember too but what’s difficult to remember is what those 10 things are. Consumers can’t recall. And when consumers can’t recall they don’t realize why they should buy the brand. And when they don’t realize that, they don’t actually buy the brand. Period.
It is already being evident. A recent press report quotes industry figures and states Pepsodent grew only 2% last year. The industry, though, grew by 14%.
A new growing brand like Pepsodent has stopped growing and is almost stagnating.
Surprised? I am. Not that it is stagnating but that it actually managed to grow in spite of the confused revamp.
By the way, Colgate grew, thank you. They have just one thing to establish – protection. And they are doing it well and doing fine in the market too.
More, in the context of brand positioning or promise, is no merry. Just a cause for worry!
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Generic Brands
A few weeks back I had asked if there are any other brands other than FedEx that have become generic and moved into the English dictionary.
Ram has come out with a whole bunch of brands (or should we call words) that have become generic and part of the lexicon.
Here is the list of brands that he has sent. Thanx Ram!
Roller blade
Walkman
Chap Stick
Dumpster
Velcro
Biro
Gramophone
Laser
Kerosene
Frisbee
Windsurfer
Escalator
Formica
Thermos
Linoleum
P.S: Ram, you addressed me as ‘Sir’ in your comments. Are you one of my unfortunate students or are you one of this blog's readers who is just being nice?
Ram has come out with a whole bunch of brands (or should we call words) that have become generic and part of the lexicon.
Here is the list of brands that he has sent. Thanx Ram!
Roller blade
Walkman
Chap Stick
Dumpster
Velcro
Biro
Gramophone
Laser
Kerosene
Frisbee
Windsurfer
Escalator
Formica
Thermos
Linoleum
P.S: Ram, you addressed me as ‘Sir’ in your comments. Are you one of my unfortunate students or are you one of this blog's readers who is just being nice?
Saturday, April 07, 2007
Sssshhhhhhhhhh Classified Ads!
I have always wondered why they were called 'Classified Ads'. Maybe, this is why.
P.S: Click on the image to enlarge it if you have eyes that are older than you are!
Friday, March 30, 2007
Ad Quotes......again!
Let advertisers spend the same amount of money improving their product that they do on advertising and they wouldn't have to advertise it.
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
It’s advertiser’s job to make women unhappy with what they have.
Don’t tell my mother I work in an advertising agency; she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
Never write an advertisement, which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine.
In good times business people want to advertise. In bad times they have to.
Advertising has really changed our thinking. This morning my wife put on eye shadow, eyeliner and eyelashes. I said, "What are you doing to your eyes?" She said, "I'm making them look natural.”
It is difficult to produce a television documentary that is both incisive and probing when every twelve minutes one is interrupted by twelve dancing rabbits singing about toilet paper.
It’s advertiser’s job to make women unhappy with what they have.
Don’t tell my mother I work in an advertising agency; she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse.
Never write an advertisement, which you wouldn't want your family to read. You wouldn't tell lies to your own wife. Don't tell them to mine.
In good times business people want to advertise. In bad times they have to.
Advertising has really changed our thinking. This morning my wife put on eye shadow, eyeliner and eyelashes. I said, "What are you doing to your eyes?" She said, "I'm making them look natural.”
Monday, March 19, 2007
Life of a Marketer
One thing that strikes me when I lecture in B-Schools, apart from million other things that hit me with increasing regularity, is the aura surrounding the life of a marketing job in the minds of the students. Most, if not all, seem to think a marketing job is the next best thing to being a freelance gynecologist!
I don’t intend spoiling their party but I thought I could use this space to introspect a little bit about the life of an average marketer - those hard-working alcoholic workaholics who work 9 to 5 – working from 9 A.M to next day morning 5 A.M! Here is the piece – self-reflection lessons for marketers.
You lecture the paper-delivery boy on ways to improve his marketing skills.
You get all excited when it’s Sunday, so you can wear casual clothes to work.
You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
You know deep inside yourself when you say ‘the work is happening’ means only one thing – the work hasn’t even started.
You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
You know the people at the airport and hotel better than your next-door neighbours.
You think a ‘half-a-day’ means leaving office at 5 o’clock.
You know but you don't realize it when you promise somebody you would meet him/her ‘first-thing-in-the-morning’ means meeting that person just minutes before lunchtime.
You remember the names of all your high-school classmates but not the guy whom you met just half an hour ago.
You are planning to take the weekend off – only that you planned it three years back!
And all those marketers who are reading this......if you wish to add more to this list based on your experiences, feel free to add them.
That's the whole point about this blog!
I don’t intend spoiling their party but I thought I could use this space to introspect a little bit about the life of an average marketer - those hard-working alcoholic workaholics who work 9 to 5 – working from 9 A.M to next day morning 5 A.M! Here is the piece – self-reflection lessons for marketers.
You lecture the paper-delivery boy on ways to improve his marketing skills.
You get all excited when it’s Sunday, so you can wear casual clothes to work.
You find you really need PowerPoint to explain what you do for a living.
You know deep inside yourself when you say ‘the work is happening’ means only one thing – the work hasn’t even started.
You normally eat out of vending machines and at the most expensive restaurant in town within the same week.
You know the people at the airport and hotel better than your next-door neighbours.
You think a ‘half-a-day’ means leaving office at 5 o’clock.
You know but you don't realize it when you promise somebody you would meet him/her ‘first-thing-in-the-morning’ means meeting that person just minutes before lunchtime.
You remember the names of all your high-school classmates but not the guy whom you met just half an hour ago.
You are planning to take the weekend off – only that you planned it three years back!
And all those marketers who are reading this......if you wish to add more to this list based on your experiences, feel free to add them.
That's the whole point about this blog!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
Just screw it !
If the world cup is a fever, the talk about the new Nike ad is an epidemic. Most people I meet, and I hasten to add all of them are in marketing and advertising, can’t stop raving about the idea, ranting about its executional excellence, and ravishing unbridled praise on the 40 second wonder.
But I don’t see what’s in that ad that would make Nike sell more shoes in this country. Before I go on, let me clarify one thing. I am not commenting on the execution excellence or whatever of the ad. I am commenting on the strategy behind the commercial, or more precisely the lack of it. Execution is meaningless when a clear strategy is non-existent. And I don’t see any strategy behind the new Nike ad.
What is Nike? You would say ‘it’s an attitude’. Where does that attitude emanate from? Superior performance of Nike. And that is why ‘performance’ has been defined as the core of brand Nike. Not by me but by the custodians of the brand.
Now, tell me where is the performance highlighted in the ad. Does it say how Nike is the best? Does it describe why it is the best in its class? Or why you and me should be paying obscene amounts to buy a pair?
Aren’t ads about telling you and me why we should be buying it? Aren’t ads supposed to give a reason to believe?
Will you and me buy something just because it has an attitude? We might, when the brand is an affordable luxury. We might go to Barista to pick a cup of coffee at Rs.50 if we feel that helps us make a statement about ourselves. Selling coffee with ‘an attitude’ might do the trick then. But when we are supposed to cough up Rs. 2,000 or Rs. 3,000 (the hell, I don’t even know how much a Nike costs; talks enough about how much their ads make me want to enter a Nike showroom and buy one) don’t we want a solid reason for buying?
You might say, but don’t we know Nike is about performance. Who are the ‘we’? You, me and a couple of hundreds of those who make a living by marketing and advertising brands. Not the millions of others for whom Nike is another shoe. Even that is assuming if they are even aware of what the brand is all about. Don’t even try telling me Nike’s awareness and knowledge levels are high. After years of effort and millions of advertising, most leading Indian brands would be happy to have 60-70% awareness levels. And would love to have TOM scores even one-fourth of it.
Where does Nike stand? Zilch or pretty much close to it, when it comes to millions of potential customers across the country (the unfortunate ones who don’t belong to the glorified fields of marketing and advertising!)
The Nike ad doesn’t give me one good reason why I should be buying it. If it’s about selling an attitude, I am not sure how many of us would cough up thousands just for it. Performance is where the attitude comes from and that is missing in the ad.
But Nike ads in the U.S do the same thing you say. Yes, that is U.S, a country where Nike has been advertising for donkeys years; where they have established without a shade of doubt the superior quality of the shoes, the brilliance of its manufacturing and impeccability of its design and what not. They can afford to highlight attitude alone; the hell, they don’t even want to write the words NIKE in the ad. Sheer logo would do.
And this is India. We don’t know Nike. Or the reason it is supposed to be the best pair of shoes our hard-earned money can buy. We know Nike is a shoe, has the swoosh logo, and ‘just do it’ as its tagline. Nothing more, nothing less. Not enough reason for many to spend thousands on it.
Want more proof? Remember a brand called ‘Pleasure’. Yeah, the scooter from Hero Honda that said girls in India should buy it and asked the question ‘why should boys have all the fun’. Wonder why the scooter never started or sold. The answer is simple. What the brand said – ‘why should boys have all the fun’ – just defined who the target for the brand was. But it never gave a promise or a solid reason why that target should go and buy it. ‘Pleasure’ failed because it expected people to spend Rs.40,000 for asking the boys ‘why should you alone have so much fun’. Expensive statement for the consumer to make. The consumer chose to ask it by buying a Scooty, that gave them enough reason to believe; more than enough promise to buy!
Moreover, the Nike ad could be an ad for any other brand, for crying out loud. I will not be surprised if people mistook it for a Pepsi ad. Remember the ad has a few cricketers in their blues as well. So much for it!
But I don’t see what’s in that ad that would make Nike sell more shoes in this country. Before I go on, let me clarify one thing. I am not commenting on the execution excellence or whatever of the ad. I am commenting on the strategy behind the commercial, or more precisely the lack of it. Execution is meaningless when a clear strategy is non-existent. And I don’t see any strategy behind the new Nike ad.
What is Nike? You would say ‘it’s an attitude’. Where does that attitude emanate from? Superior performance of Nike. And that is why ‘performance’ has been defined as the core of brand Nike. Not by me but by the custodians of the brand.
Now, tell me where is the performance highlighted in the ad. Does it say how Nike is the best? Does it describe why it is the best in its class? Or why you and me should be paying obscene amounts to buy a pair?
Aren’t ads about telling you and me why we should be buying it? Aren’t ads supposed to give a reason to believe?
Will you and me buy something just because it has an attitude? We might, when the brand is an affordable luxury. We might go to Barista to pick a cup of coffee at Rs.50 if we feel that helps us make a statement about ourselves. Selling coffee with ‘an attitude’ might do the trick then. But when we are supposed to cough up Rs. 2,000 or Rs. 3,000 (the hell, I don’t even know how much a Nike costs; talks enough about how much their ads make me want to enter a Nike showroom and buy one) don’t we want a solid reason for buying?
You might say, but don’t we know Nike is about performance. Who are the ‘we’? You, me and a couple of hundreds of those who make a living by marketing and advertising brands. Not the millions of others for whom Nike is another shoe. Even that is assuming if they are even aware of what the brand is all about. Don’t even try telling me Nike’s awareness and knowledge levels are high. After years of effort and millions of advertising, most leading Indian brands would be happy to have 60-70% awareness levels. And would love to have TOM scores even one-fourth of it.
Where does Nike stand? Zilch or pretty much close to it, when it comes to millions of potential customers across the country (the unfortunate ones who don’t belong to the glorified fields of marketing and advertising!)
The Nike ad doesn’t give me one good reason why I should be buying it. If it’s about selling an attitude, I am not sure how many of us would cough up thousands just for it. Performance is where the attitude comes from and that is missing in the ad.
But Nike ads in the U.S do the same thing you say. Yes, that is U.S, a country where Nike has been advertising for donkeys years; where they have established without a shade of doubt the superior quality of the shoes, the brilliance of its manufacturing and impeccability of its design and what not. They can afford to highlight attitude alone; the hell, they don’t even want to write the words NIKE in the ad. Sheer logo would do.
And this is India. We don’t know Nike. Or the reason it is supposed to be the best pair of shoes our hard-earned money can buy. We know Nike is a shoe, has the swoosh logo, and ‘just do it’ as its tagline. Nothing more, nothing less. Not enough reason for many to spend thousands on it.
Want more proof? Remember a brand called ‘Pleasure’. Yeah, the scooter from Hero Honda that said girls in India should buy it and asked the question ‘why should boys have all the fun’. Wonder why the scooter never started or sold. The answer is simple. What the brand said – ‘why should boys have all the fun’ – just defined who the target for the brand was. But it never gave a promise or a solid reason why that target should go and buy it. ‘Pleasure’ failed because it expected people to spend Rs.40,000 for asking the boys ‘why should you alone have so much fun’. Expensive statement for the consumer to make. The consumer chose to ask it by buying a Scooty, that gave them enough reason to believe; more than enough promise to buy!
Moreover, the Nike ad could be an ad for any other brand, for crying out loud. I will not be surprised if people mistook it for a Pepsi ad. Remember the ad has a few cricketers in their blues as well. So much for it!
Finally, those who rave about the Nike ad say the ad is trying to celebrate the spirit of cricket. At last count I found 4,578 ads doing the same thing during commercial breaks. Nike was No. 4,579!
Friday, February 23, 2007
You’ll never be fed up with FedEx
Just found this one recently when someone pointed it to me. This is about FedEx – more precisely about its logo. Take a look at the logo first.
Have you ever spotted the 'arrow' between the letters ‘E’ and ‘x’ in this logo? The arrow was apparently introduced to underscore speed and precision, which are part of the positioning of the company. However, they chose to keep it subtle, or in other words, a subliminal symbol.
The creator of the logo, Lindon Leader, explains why this was done: “The power of the hidden arrow is simply that it is a hidden bonus. It is a positive-reverse optical kind of thing: either you see it or you don't. Importantly, not getting the punch line by not seeing the arrow does not reduce the impact of the logo's essential communication. The power of the logo and the FedEx marketing supporting the logo is strong enough to convey clearly FedEx brand positioning.”
On the other hand, if you do see the arrow, or someone points it out to you, you won't forget it. I can't tell you how many people have told me how much fun they have asking others "if they can spot 'something' in the logo.”
Besides, FedEx is also an interesting case where the brand consultants convinced the company to shorten their corporate name and logo from Federal Express to the popular abbreviation FedEx. Besides creating a shorter brand name, they reduced the amount of colour used on vehicles (planes, trucks, boxes, POP materials) and saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in costs.
Now that is some true 'value for money' consulting!
Also, FedEx is one of the very few brands in the world whose name is now used as a verb, officially endorsed by the top dictionaries of the world. I can only think of Xerox being the other one. Any other brand name that you can think of?
If this is not the pinnacle of branding, I would like to know what else is!
Have you ever spotted the 'arrow' between the letters ‘E’ and ‘x’ in this logo? The arrow was apparently introduced to underscore speed and precision, which are part of the positioning of the company. However, they chose to keep it subtle, or in other words, a subliminal symbol.
The creator of the logo, Lindon Leader, explains why this was done: “The power of the hidden arrow is simply that it is a hidden bonus. It is a positive-reverse optical kind of thing: either you see it or you don't. Importantly, not getting the punch line by not seeing the arrow does not reduce the impact of the logo's essential communication. The power of the logo and the FedEx marketing supporting the logo is strong enough to convey clearly FedEx brand positioning.”
On the other hand, if you do see the arrow, or someone points it out to you, you won't forget it. I can't tell you how many people have told me how much fun they have asking others "if they can spot 'something' in the logo.”
Besides, FedEx is also an interesting case where the brand consultants convinced the company to shorten their corporate name and logo from Federal Express to the popular abbreviation FedEx. Besides creating a shorter brand name, they reduced the amount of colour used on vehicles (planes, trucks, boxes, POP materials) and saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in costs.
Now that is some true 'value for money' consulting!
Also, FedEx is one of the very few brands in the world whose name is now used as a verb, officially endorsed by the top dictionaries of the world. I can only think of Xerox being the other one. Any other brand name that you can think of?
If this is not the pinnacle of branding, I would like to know what else is!
Monday, February 12, 2007
McElroy’s P&G Brand Management Memo
This memo, written by a guy named Neil McElroy, a P&G manager, is part to defend the hiring of two new people, describes a brand management team consisting of a ‘brand man’, an ‘assistant brand man’, and several ‘field check-up’ men. The following excerpt describes the duties and responsibilities of the ‘brand man’.
What’s the big deal you ask? Nothing much except that it was the first instance of an organized attempt at designing a Brand Management Team in an organization. So what, you scoff.
This happened in the year 1931. Yes, much before even your dad was born. That’s P&G - the Cincinnati colossus that has monopolized innovation and best practices over many many years!
Here is the story.
Neil McElroy, working on P&G’s Camay was frustrated by being in the shadow of Ivory, put forth the idea of developing a brand management team. He argued that there were not enough people caring about Camay. The marketing effort was diffused and uncoordinated and lacked a budget commitment. The solution, creating a brand management team responsible for the marketing programme and its coordination with sales and manufacturing, is considered a key event in the history of branding!
And here is the memo he wrote.
Brand Man
1. Study carefully shipments of his brands by units.
2. Where brand development is heavy and where it is progressive, examine carefully the combination of effort that seems to be clicking and try to appeal this same treatment to other territories that are comparable.
3. Where brand development is light:
a. Study past advertising and promotional history of the brand: study the territory personality at first hand–both dealers and consumers–in order to find out the trouble.
b. After uncovering our weakness, develop a plan that can be applied to this local sore spot. It is necessary, of course not simply to work out the plan but also to be sure that the amount of money proposed can be expected to produce results at a reasonable cost per case.
c. Outline this plan in detail to the Division Manager under whose jurisdiction the weak territory is, obtain his authority and support for the corrective action.
d. Prepare sales helps and all other necessary material for carrying out the plan. Pass is on the districts. Work with salesmen while they are getting started. Follow through to the very finish to be sure that there is no letdown in sales operation of the plan.
e. Keep whatever records are necessary, and make whatever field studies are necessary to determine whether the plan has produced the expected results.
4. Take full responsibility, not simply for criticizing individual pieces of printed word copy, but also for the general printed word plans for his brands.
5. Take full responsibility for all other advertising expenditures on his brands (author’s note – in-store displays and promotions).
6. Experiment with and recommend wrapper (author’s note – packaging) revisions.
7. See each District Manager a number of times a year to discuss with him any possible faults in our promotion plans for that territory.
What’s the big deal you ask? Nothing much except that it was the first instance of an organized attempt at designing a Brand Management Team in an organization. So what, you scoff.
This happened in the year 1931. Yes, much before even your dad was born. That’s P&G - the Cincinnati colossus that has monopolized innovation and best practices over many many years!
Here is the story.
Neil McElroy, working on P&G’s Camay was frustrated by being in the shadow of Ivory, put forth the idea of developing a brand management team. He argued that there were not enough people caring about Camay. The marketing effort was diffused and uncoordinated and lacked a budget commitment. The solution, creating a brand management team responsible for the marketing programme and its coordination with sales and manufacturing, is considered a key event in the history of branding!
And here is the memo he wrote.
Brand Man
1. Study carefully shipments of his brands by units.
2. Where brand development is heavy and where it is progressive, examine carefully the combination of effort that seems to be clicking and try to appeal this same treatment to other territories that are comparable.
3. Where brand development is light:
a. Study past advertising and promotional history of the brand: study the territory personality at first hand–both dealers and consumers–in order to find out the trouble.
b. After uncovering our weakness, develop a plan that can be applied to this local sore spot. It is necessary, of course not simply to work out the plan but also to be sure that the amount of money proposed can be expected to produce results at a reasonable cost per case.
c. Outline this plan in detail to the Division Manager under whose jurisdiction the weak territory is, obtain his authority and support for the corrective action.
d. Prepare sales helps and all other necessary material for carrying out the plan. Pass is on the districts. Work with salesmen while they are getting started. Follow through to the very finish to be sure that there is no letdown in sales operation of the plan.
e. Keep whatever records are necessary, and make whatever field studies are necessary to determine whether the plan has produced the expected results.
4. Take full responsibility, not simply for criticizing individual pieces of printed word copy, but also for the general printed word plans for his brands.
5. Take full responsibility for all other advertising expenditures on his brands (author’s note – in-store displays and promotions).
6. Experiment with and recommend wrapper (author’s note – packaging) revisions.
7. See each District Manager a number of times a year to discuss with him any possible faults in our promotion plans for that territory.
Wednesday, February 07, 2007
How to ask your boss for a salary increase?
Here is for all those blokes who don't know how to ask their boss for a salary increase. And also what to expect from smart alec bosses! Courtesy: One of my enterprising students!
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary.
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of U.$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your’$ $incerely,
Norman $handy
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply.
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if U.S may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours,
Boss
One day an employee sends a letter to his boss asking for an increase in his salary.
Dear Bo$$,
In thi$ life, we all need $ome thing mo$t de$perately. I think you $hould be under$tanding of the need$ of U.$ worker$ who have given $o much $upport including $weat and $ervice to your company. I am $ure you will gue$$ what I mean and re$pond $oon.
Your’$ $incerely,
Norman $handy
The next day, the employee received this letter of reply.
Dear NOrman,
I kNOw you have been working very hard. NOwadays, NOthing much has changed. You must have NOticed that our company is NOt doing NOticeably well as yet.
NOw the newspapers are saying the world's leading ecoNOmists are NOt sure if U.S may go into aNOther recession. After the NOvember presidential elections things may turn bad.
I have NOthing more to add NOw. You kNOw what I mean.
Yours,
Boss
Sunday, January 21, 2007
How to Write a Good Advertising Positioning Statement
Start by looking not at the product but at the position in the market that you want to occupy, in relation to competition.
Think about how the brand will answer the main consumer questions:
- What will it do for me that others will not?
- Why should I believe you?
Make sure the best people in your company work on the APS. After all, it’s the most important document you will produce on the way to getting advertising.
Let individuals have a go at their own version. Discuss and modify the alternatives to clarify everyone’s thoughts and then pick the best one.
Try to keep it short - make every word count and be as specific as possible – vagueness opens the way to confused executions.
Search for ways of making it competitive – if possible find some way of bringing in the word ‘only’ as long as it is relevant to the benefit.
Indicate clearly the weight of each element.
If emotional values, e.g., social confidence, mother care etc., are important to a brand they should influence the way the statement is written.
Encourage the contribution of your R&D or technical personnel whenever possible.
Get wholehearted commitment at all levels in your company and where relevant, procure coordination, before issuing an agreed APS.
Do not give it to the advertising agency until you are pretty sure you have it right and are prepared to defend it. Then let the agency make their own contribution, before you decide on a final version.
Begin every advertising review meeting with the APS, no matter how apparently well known it is.
Keep the APS up-do-date and give as careful consideration to change as you did to the original statement.
Think about how the brand will answer the main consumer questions:
- What will it do for me that others will not?
- Why should I believe you?
Make sure the best people in your company work on the APS. After all, it’s the most important document you will produce on the way to getting advertising.
Let individuals have a go at their own version. Discuss and modify the alternatives to clarify everyone’s thoughts and then pick the best one.
Try to keep it short - make every word count and be as specific as possible – vagueness opens the way to confused executions.
Search for ways of making it competitive – if possible find some way of bringing in the word ‘only’ as long as it is relevant to the benefit.
Indicate clearly the weight of each element.
If emotional values, e.g., social confidence, mother care etc., are important to a brand they should influence the way the statement is written.
Encourage the contribution of your R&D or technical personnel whenever possible.
Get wholehearted commitment at all levels in your company and where relevant, procure coordination, before issuing an agreed APS.
Do not give it to the advertising agency until you are pretty sure you have it right and are prepared to defend it. Then let the agency make their own contribution, before you decide on a final version.
Begin every advertising review meeting with the APS, no matter how apparently well known it is.
Keep the APS up-do-date and give as careful consideration to change as you did to the original statement.
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