Not everyone in India loves cricket. Not certainly the IPL broadcasters and the ad sponsoring brand advocates. What started as a 'Citi Moment of Success' has now reached 'DLF maximum'!
What then explains the addition of utter nonsense like ‘Karbon Kamaal Catch’ or ‘Max Mobile Time-out’? I see two more such nauseating terms being added next year; and a few more after that. All to kill the proverbial goose for a few rotten eggs.
As such, cricket lovers are being forced to hear utter banality that masquerades as commentary and sheer stupidity that goes around as expert analysis. We seem to have a bottomless pit of nincompoops who claim to be commentators and cricketing experts – led by the trying-to-put-that-accent Gavaskar to the non-stop-nonsense Morrison and many other I-have-no-idea-what-cricket-is in between them.
It’s a pity a cricket-loving nation such as ours can’t produce a few good commentators. All we have are those who say stuff that any mentally deranged maniac would murmur.
'That was a great shot’ – Aren’t most boundaries hit that way?
‘The first 6-overs are crucial’ – In which other matches are they not?
‘That’s a lovely ball’ – Are they referring to Preity Zinta’s or Shilpa Shetty’s?
And to top all this diabolical verbal diarrhea comes this brand-new bullshit: ‘Karbon Kamaal Catch’ and ‘Max Mobile Time Out’.
And don’t you harbour hopes that it will stop here. The idiots at IPL are not going to care two-hoots about whether we like or dislike this triteness and are bound to go ahead with more such nonsense in the years to come.
Being the obliging soul I am, I thought I could help the guys at IPL come out with a few more; and in the process help you poor soul to brave yourself and be mentally prepared when they hit you in the next edition of IPL. Here’s my two-bit to the branded banalities that can be bestowed on us next year.
When a captain makes a wrong move: ‘That’s a Fair & Lovely F***-up’
When a dot ball is bowled: ‘It’s a Dabur Dot Ball’.
When there’s a misfield: ‘It’s a Garnier Fructus Goof-up’.
When a run-out is missed: ‘Ooh it’s a Gillette Close Shave’.
When a catch is dropped: ‘Oh boy, lifebuoy’.
If over-branding can kill, we have a mass murderer in our midst - IPL!
10 comments:
superb post sir !.. i loved it,,
Good post sir...These guys have done their job on what the core reason they have started it for...apart from the satisfaction levels of the cricket maniacs..These guys are more and more concerned on speedy recovery of their money what they invested...game is fun...gone all are those days...no wonder we can see the meaning turned of to game is business..
‘Oh boy, lifebuoy’ - I liked it! :)
Whatever said and done, we Indians don't mind any of these, cos Cricket is the Sports-God in the country and we are ready to sacrifice anything for it! :)
The IPL will not care, and why should it. Its the problem with our marketers. They just can't come of this mania.
Yes Sir, its pretty sad that there's too much branding in IPL. Last season, I thought IPL would become the super bowl for Indian ad industry. But this year's over branding is quite annoying.
If IPL and it media has more money, why can't they hire some cricket experts for presentation and discussion.
How much does Gaurav Kapur or Angad bedi know about the game. And the worst part is they are made to talk at part with Sunil Gavaskar and Ravi Shastri.
I hope bats are made of willow and not of the Bolly - Wood.
Adding to your list, here are few predictions from my side:
1)Wide balls - brought to you by Sony Bravia (the truly wide screen).
2)Player Injury(ies) - brought to you by Moov
3)Match Lost - brought to you by Betfair Poker (online betting)
4)Caught Behind - brought to you by AXE Deodorant
5)Free Hit - brought to you by Endhiran - the robot
6)LBW - brought to you by PUMA shoes
7)Century and half-century brought to you by Pepsi 1 ltr and 500 ml respectively
8)Commentators - brought to you by Veta English training center
9)Fast bowling and spin bowling - brought to you by BMW and Whirlpool respectively
10)Need 70 runs to win from 10 balls - brought to you by _ _ _ _ ( - - - - ..to think beyond)
Well, then its a opportunity, if anyone can make the IPL match without ads... :)
By the way... Good Post Sir...
Rollin on the floor and laughin my a** off !!!
that was a krack cream leg glance !!
fabulous post as always !!
thats a real cool post.. ofcourse they can use ur ideas too..
sir, simply awesome...no words to explain how impressive it is. The dynamics of RELIGION CRICKET in India have been goofed up by so called the innovative marketing stunts. But the blame should go to the IPL board not the cos participating in it. But the question, is it advisable for the cos to go for this "bullshit branding", when the idea itself annoys the lay men.
i think all the IPL related controversies will also be sponsored ;-)
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