Men of 'Steal'

We all know our Indian movie makers can never make good movies of their own, exceptions apart, though. Most often than not, they have to pilfer popular playwright’s work, filch Hollywood films, steal scenes and lift ideas from around the world.

The Indian advertising industry is no different and it has always had more than its fair share of thieves and robbers - barefaced souls who have blatantly stolen stuff from foreign ads. And I am not talking about stealing just ad themes or execution ideas; sometimes even ad jingles are brazenly borrowed and silently stolen.

Want proof?

Click on this slick flick…… No marks for guessing the brand though.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfiwDRDvgng

As irony would have it, this piece of info was passed to me by a good friend of mine in……………….where else, advertising!

Senseless Marketers and their Sensational Sense of Humour

A career in marketing might be hectic and chaotic; tension-filled and pressure-mounted. But you have to give it to marketers for their amazing sense of humour. They never let their busy lifestyle mar their incredible talent to make people laugh. Just scan the business press and read about the marvelous marketing magic weaved by marketers. It is sure to open your heart, widen your smile and even let you have a deafening laugh. Want proof: here is a comic gem I found in the business press recently.

A Kolkata-based FMCG major is diversifying into cement business and will invest Rs1,750 crore to set up production units in the next three years. “We are diversifying into the cement business, considering the potential and demand of it in the country, particularly in the eastern region. The total investment for the venture will be around Rs1,750 crore for the next three years,” the company’s group director Mohan Goenka said.

As part of the new plan, the company will set up a fully integrated cement plant in Chhattisgarh with an installed capacity to produce 3.1 million tones. He also added the product will cater to the eastern region only.

Oh, by the way, the company in question is Emami.

Now, where is the humour in all this, you wonder? The company is launching its cement under the ‘Emami’ brand name.

Yup, you heard it right. ‘Emami Cement’. What do you say?

I guess it would just be a matter of time before other marketers too get their comedy act together and launch a laugh riot. When that happens, boy we could well expect these: Lakme Housing, Pond’s Shipping, Garnier Fertilizers, Fair & Lovely Steels, Nivea Nuclear Plants and many more.

And, not for a minute, should we underestimate the marketers of industrial brands. Be rest assured; they would come all comic guns blazing to invade FMCG turf. Get all set to welcome: L&T Facewash, DLF Sunscreen Lotion, TISCO Talcum Powder, ONGC Room Fresheners to name a few.

Though strictly not within this ambit, yet as a parting shot, allow me to present my favourite: Harpic Mouthwash!

Docomo’s dilemma

I have always believed, exceptions apart, the state or government should not interfere in the market and should rather let the market decide. Markets are far more efficient in leveling themselves than any government rule or policy can hope to achieve.

This has yet again been clearly played out in mobile telephony. Telecom Regulatory Authority of India (TRAI) was trying to mandate all telecom companies to charge calls on a per-second basis instead of the per-minute basis that they were all following. Telecom companies cried foul and said TRAI was exceeding its brief and was trying to arm-twist them.

While this debate was raging on in the corridors of power, the marketplace, where it all mattered, was witnessing the emergence of something sinister. Docomo launched its services with this very promise ‘Pay per second’.

‘Why pay in minutes when life can change in seconds’ was their war cry. New subscribers and quite a few younger audience – who keep changing their provider – heard it loud and clear and started migrating to Docomo.

Docomo soon became the brand that attracted the most new subscribers in mobile connections. It even overtook market leaders like Airtel and Vodafone in new subscriber acquisition. To throw some numbers, Docomo added four million new subscribers in September alone. And it continues to march on.

Docomo’s spectacular growth has startled the existing biggies and guess what they did. They have started to charge ‘per second’ too. And we are talking all the big brands – Airtel, Vodafone, Aircel, Reliance – who once pooh-poohed this very ‘per second’ manner of charging.

Market forces have achieved silently what TRAI was trying to achieve shouting. Well done Docomo!

But my marketing mind (kindly allow me to claim so) now has a different worry. More a worry for Docomo than it is to me. Docomo was clearly positioned as a ‘per second’ charger. By default and by their design, that’s how they had positioned themselves. Now that every other player is offering the same thing, has Docomo lost its only weapon? Does ‘per second’ billing makes sense for a brand when every other brand in the category is offering the same thing?
 
Agreed, Docomo was the first player to offer it. But when a brand harps on a functional benefit and a functional benefit alone, will it lose its edge when others also offer the same functional benefit?

Remember, the other brands have other stories to tell too while Docomo has just this one to scream about. And something that is not theirs alone, any more.

Is this why Docomo is trying to create a youthful personality to itself through their new ad - guys and girls humming the Docomo jingle in the friendship express? Is that sufficient reason for people to purchase this brand? What do you think?

Oh yeah yaaa ohhh. Docomooohhhhhhh!

Roadblock to nowhere

I don’t consider myself well equipped to write about media (or for that marketing) but a media innovation being praised by all and sundry caught my attention and I decided to make it the topic of this belated post!

If you didn’t know already, on September 17 all consumers who watched any of Star’s 10 channels saw only HUL brands being advertised. HUL had, to use a media term, roadblocked all advertising time and space in Star’s ten channels and had only their ads for the entire day.

The world stopped revolving and exclaimed ‘my god’. The entire nation stood up and applauded the most earth shattering event since this nation became independent. ‘HUL has done it again’, screamed the who’s who of marketing.

Done what? This mind of mine fails to grasp the outcome of all this. So a few million people watched only HUL ads all day, fine. But, how many of them felt they were watching only HUL ads. Or how many of us know which company makes most of the ads that we watch or the bulk of the brands that we buy.

Do we know who makes Oral B?
Do we know who makes Medimix?
Do we know who makes D’Cold?

Do we care to know?

It is not just about a simple case of buying inventory from Star. The premium cost for such a strategy is obscenely high and my media sources say it would have been about 100%. Businessworld magazine estimates HUL’s ad-spends that day at about Rs.1,000 crores!

So what did HUL actually achieve by spending a fortune? People got to see only Surf or Lifebuoy or Pears or whatever that was dished out. To the average Mrs. Housewife it’s just another day of ads on TV. Even assuming she never switched to any other channel– Zee or Sony or Colours - during ad breaks, what would have she got? Agreed, she probably didn’t get to see any HUL competitive ads that day. So what? She saw them earlier and she would be seeing them the next day; the day after. Why need to spend Rs.1,000 crores for this? Isn't this the classic case of putting-all-advertising-eggs-in-one-media-basket?

Has recall of HUL brands increased tremendously post this? I doubt. HUL has yet to comment on that. Knowing HUL, they would have done a study by now to ascertain the impact. Their silence screams the deafening impact of their media innovation. Zilch!

You see, this media roadblock strategy might gain people’s attention if a single brand does it with a single message on a single day. For instance, Hutch used this roadblock strategy in 2007 in Star, when they changed the name to Vodafone. All day, a single focused message that Vodafone wanted to achieve – ‘Hutch is now Vodafone’. Maybe that made sense. But different brands of the same company being advertised on the same day – to the consumer, is just another set of advertising. Spending a fortune on it is strategically foolish and creatively futile.

I wondered why any company would even do this. Was I missing something in all this? So I called my media friend – one of the most respected media minds in the country – certainly one of the few I respect - and posed him this question.

Why would a company spend Rs.1,000 crores on just one set of channels on a single day? Who would benefit?

The soft-spoken friend of mine smiled and said, ‘First, the brand manager would. He or she would show it as something different that they attempted and executed. Secondly, the media agency would have earned brownie points and a fat media commission as well. And thirdly Star TV, which would have made a quiet killing’.

But what about the brands, I enquired. He smiled even more and said, ‘Who cares about them’!

Sound bytes bites!

I have been caught up with work, travel and other such mundane things these past few days. That, coupled with my legendary laziness, is the reason why I have not updated my blog - not that you care I know!

As a stop gap, as a relief to your eyes, yet as a pain to your ears, here's a link to some audio bytes. I was interviewed in Aaha FM - a popular Tamil FM channel in Madras, owned and run by Kumudham magazine - a few weeks back on, what else, marketing.

If you have a few minutes - 45 of them to be precise - click on the link and check out yours truly.

A caveat though: The interview is in Tamil. For those who can't understand it and wouldn't feel like listening to it - lucky you!


http://www.archive.org/details/BadriSeshadriKizhakkuPodcastWeek6
_SatheeshKrishnamurthytalkingtoSatyanarayanonMarketin

The Upside of Slowdowns

It looks like the worst of the economic slowdown is behind us. Some economists have predicted the beginning of a recovery early next year. Agreed, economists get it wrong most of the time. As they say, economists correctly predicted ten of the last three recessions! Let’s hope, for our sake, they are right about recovery.

Everyone and his mistress have talked about the pains and problems with economic slowdowns. Every cloud has the proverbial silver lining. Is there anything for us marketers to learn from this slowdown? I think there is. And here are three.

1. To begin with, most of us were referring to this lull as recession. By God, at least this country of ours was far from it. We were actually growing albeit much lower than last year. We had been growing so fast and so fine all these last ten years or so that most of us were not happy when the growth slowed down. The slowdown made one thing clear to everyone, if ever clarity was needed: ‘We Indians want growth; and growth at a galloping pace. Anything slow and we are not willing to accept.’ For a poor and illiterate country that has just started to embrace open markets and globalization, it’s a heartening thing to note.

2. Premium brands are the ones that seem to take a pounding during economic slowdowns. Honda was hammered. Toyota was traumatized. Mercedes Benz was murdered. But did you notice Maruti managed! While their premium brands slowed down, the company sales itself didn’t. The company’s mass brands grew even if not by much. It clearly shows and comprehensively proves: Don’t put all the eggs in one basket. If you have premium brands in your portfolio, try having mid-sized ones and low-priced warriors too as part of your product mix. Come slowdown, your premium brands would wobble; but your mass brands will wiggle you out.

3. Come an economic slowdown and marketers seem to cut costs – and that includes cutting down on the easiest one to cut – advertising. A study by Business Line has proved that all those companies that actually bucked the slowdown and increased their advertising spend were the ones that actually grew during this slowdown. Makes sense, doesn’t it? When everyone cuts down their noise levels, even if you whisper you are heard loud, by the ones that matter most – customers. Remember, tightening your belt during a slowdown is fine; but too much of a tightening and you start suffocating. Loosen it a bit during a lull and you might well laugh all the way to the bank.

For the sake of all of us and this country, here’ hoping for an early and speedy recovery: Three cheers to the economy, up up hooray!

Customer Disservice

It’s increasingly becoming fashionable for marketers and marketing students to talk about customer service. If you were to sit in any of the hundreds of boardrooms across this country or if you were to attend a marketing class in any of the thousands of B-schools that dot this nation, you can’t help but think there is an overriding obsession with customer service among the past, present and potential marketers of India.

Is it true? Are we obsessed with customer service?

We are not even close. When it comes to customer service, we are light years away. We are probably better than we were during the socialist era of the past but we still have miles to travel.

Let me list two examples here. These are not run-of-the-mill brands that I am talking about. These are India’s most respected. If this is what the best of India has to offer when it comes to customer service, you can work out the math yourself about others.

These examples are not figments of somebody’s imagination. They are as experienced by yours truly!

Tata Sky: If you were to add a new package to your existing list of channels, all you have to do is just SMS from your registered mobile to Tata Sky customer care centre. A piece of cake you say. But wait till you wish to drop the same package and you would realize the shenanigans of Tata Sky. Nah, you can’t just SMS, you have to call only. It would take an eternity to reach a customer care representative. And till you reach that abominable snowman, the Mr. Big foot, be prepared to listen to hours of bilingual barrage promoting Tata Sky’s scintillating subscription packages and promotions.

HDFC Bank: Okay, you need a loan; all of us do and there are these modern and magnificently customer-oriented private banks that would come running if you care to just lift the phone and call. A representative would come home, assist you in filling the forms, help you with paperwork and have your demand draft delivered in less than 48 hours flat. Great, isn’t it? Only till you wish to prepay the loan. Try calling him and he would only ask you to visit their regional office that could be across the town, if you are lucky or could well be in another city. Travel there and your travails have just begun. You might have to wait in queue for hours, if not days. And the best part is when you ask the teller after repaying your loan what happens to your post-dated cheques that you had submitted. With as much expression as a corpse you would find him or her say, “Some post-dated cheques might still be presented for payment, and if it happens do go and talk to the concerned branch.” And before you try reasoning with the teller you would find him/her say, “Speak to the enquiry counter, not here; next. “

Before I sign off, I would like to share with you what I read long ago about a department store in Michigan U.S. Apparently the store has a plaque right at the entrance of the store that serves as directions to its employees and as an advisory to its customers. Here is what the plaque says:

Marketing Rules Here:

Rule No.1: The customer is always right.

Rule No.2: If you think the customer is wrong, read Rule No.1

Where are the Zoozoos?

Not too long ago, all of us were talking about the Zoozoos - this blog and yours truly included, though not in the same way most others did.

Where are the Zoozoos now? Whatever happened to them?

The pug is back. Does that mean the Zoozoos are gone….forever? All this raises more questions than I can find answers.

>> The Zoozoos, I am told in an interview by someone at Vodafone, were brought in place of the pug coz they wanted to create something spectacular since the pug reminded people of Hutch and not as much Vodafone. Now, what caused this change? Why bring the pug back? To remind people of Hutch again?

>> First it was ‘Orange’ to ‘Pink’; then it was Hutch to Vodafone; later it was ‘Pug’ to ‘Zoozoos’; and now back to the ‘Pug’ again. So should we expect another change – ‘Vodafone’ back to ‘Hutch’?

>> Isn’t brand and brand communication all about consistency? If you keep creating colours and characters only to drop them the next quarter, are you not being consistent…….in being inconsistent?

>> If the Zoozoos created huge hype, hoopla and hysteria, why drop them? Does that mean Vodafone now realizes all the noise created was created for the Zoozoos and not as much for Vodafone? Did you notice, all of us were saying ‘Did you see the Zoozoo ad’ and not ‘Did you see the new Vodafone ad’ which is how it should have been in the first place?

Isn’t there a lesson for marketers in all this? There is; and it’s easy to figure out what it is. So easy that it doesn’t bear mention here.

Ad guys or Mad guys?

We all know 20-20 cricket is a funny game. But it seems advertisers and sponsors of the sport are as funny if not more.

The advertisers who had committed advertising and sponsorship monies to ‘ESPN Star Sport’ (ESS) for the recently concluded 20-20 World Cup want them to refund their monies or at least reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Why?

Apparently the semi-finals and finals attracted less fans and even lesser eye balls than were expected. You see, India had crashed out of the tournament (and rightly so) and hence the Indian public had lost interest in the tournament and gate crashed in to other parties and had ditched the World Cup. This had affected the fortunes of all the brands that had committed crores of money to ESS. Now, they want ESS to refund their monies or reduce their ad rates for subsequent tournaments.

Does it mean that ESS was solely responsible for India not entering the semi-finals? Should ESS pay for the sins of money-hungry cricketers who masked their injuries, faked good health and screwed up Indian’s chances? Shouldn’t the advertisers realize the possibilities involved in India not making to the last eight before committing their monies? After all, didn’t the same thing happen just a couple of years ago at the Caribbean World Cup when India could not even enter the second stage?

This idea of asking ESS to refund or reduce is sheer stupidity and utter nonsense.

Suppose, if India has made to the semis and, God forbid, the finals and had played Pakistan, and assuming the whole of India had sat in front of the TV and watched it, would these same sponsors pay more than they had committed for the increased viewership? The hell they would.

The advertisers took a gamble and it didn’t pay off. Expecting to get reimbursed for the follies they committed is nothing short of nonsense. ESS should shove the request up the advertisers back. And show their middle finger too for good measure!

This is a true story...

…that happened between the customer of General Motors and its Customer-care executive. It teaches us many things: the importance of customer service, the outcome of thinking differently; and the value of deciphering the bizarre!

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors: 'This is the second time I have written to you, and I don't blame you for not answering me, because I sounded crazy, but it is a fact that we have a tradition in our family: ice-Cream for dessert after dinner each night, but the kind of ice cream varies so, every night, after we've eaten, the whole family votes on which kind of ice cream we should have and I drive down to the store to get it. It's also a fact that I recently purchased a new Pontiac and since then my trips to the store have created a problem.

You see, every time I buy a vanilla ice-cream, when I start back from the store my car won't start. If I get any other kind of ice cream, the car starts just fine. I want you to know I'm serious about this question, no matter how silly it sounds "What is there about a Pontiac that makes it not start when I get vanilla ice cream, and easy to start whenever I get any other kind?"

The Pontiac President was understandably sceptical about the letter, but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The latter was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car and drove to the ice cream store. It was vanilla ice cream that night and, sure enough, after they came back to the car, it wouldn't start.

The engineer returned for three more nights. The first night, they got chocolate. The car started. The second night, he got strawberry. The car started. The third night he ordered vanilla. The car failed to start.

Now the engineer, being a logical man, refused to believe that this man's car was allergic to vanilla ice cream. He arranged, therefore, to continue his visits for as long as it took to solve the problem. And toward this end he began to take notes: He jotted down all sorts of data: time of day, type of gas uses, time to drive back and forth etc.

In a short time, he had a clue: the man took less time to buy vanilla than any other flavour. Why? The answer was in the layout of the store. Vanilla, being the most popular flavour, was in a separate case at the front of the store for quick pickup. All the other flavours were kept in the back of the store at a different counter where it took considerably longer to check out the flavour.

Now, the question for the Engineer was why the car wouldn't start when it took less time. Eureka - Time was now the problem - not the vanilla ice cream!

The engineer quickly came up with the answer: vapour lock.

It was happening every night; but the extra time taken to get the other flavours allowed the engine to cool down sufficiently to start. When the man got vanilla, the engine was still too hot for the vapour lock to dissipate.

You see, even crazy looking problems are sometimes real. And all problems seem to be simple only when we find the solution, with cool thinking.

Don't just say it is impossible without putting a sincere effort. What really matters is your attitude and your perception.

Remember, ability is what you're capable of doing. Motivation determines what you do. Attitude determines how well you do it.

The Zoozoos

Everybody and his uncle seem to love the new Vodaphone ads. I am referring to the series of ads with the zoozoos. You can’t miss them if you follow IPL. They are all over the place.

Being a cartoon lover myself, I enjoyed the hilarity of some of the commercials myself; even more considering the fact that they are not animation but actual people masquerading as cartoon characters. Shot apparently in South Africa, a lot of planning seems to have gone behind to achieve a new perfection in the films. Great show!

But the devil inside me has a doubt. While we love the films for what they are, do we remember what the films are for? Do we know what each of the different ads is trying to say? Here is the construct of a few films. Try and guess what the ad is trying to establish.

A zoozoo comes out of the trial room and screams at another one dressed alike

A zoozoo speaks something in the bottle and throws it at another

Four zoozoos walk on a street together listening to the radio

A zoozoo teasing a crocodile with a fish

Two zoozoos driving a car and crashing at an intersection

Two zoozoos in a restaurant and the girl zoozoo throwing stuff at the other

We know they are all Vodafone ads. But do you know what each of these ads is trying to say? More importantly, how many of us do you think would know what they are trying to say?

The ads are funny and entertaining, no doubt. But on them building awareness about the different value adds of Vodafone, I doubt!

Clerihew

Do you know Clerihew? No, it’s not a brand or a company or an author of a marketing book. A clerihew is a four-line poem that pokes fun at the famous. It was invented by a British writer named Edmund Clerihew Bentley (1875 – 1956) and hence the name.

Clerihew’s mini verses have three rules: They rhyme aabb; they are about a celebrity named in the first line; and they have no meter. Here is an example that should explain what Clerihew is and how the rules apply.

Actor Harrison Ford
Was feeling extraordinarily bored
So he grabbed his hat and picked up his bones
And starred in yet another Indiana Jones

Now, why am I talking about Clerihews? I just wanted to introduce this interesting concept to you so you could try your hand at it and post your clerihew here. To get you started here is one from me.

A mobile brand called Airtel
Decided to do something fatal
They ventured into DTH under the same name
And realized they were playing a losing game

Mind your own business

One of the most heartening things about teaching or writing is finding someone who wants to listen and act on what you said or wrote. There have been a few who have written to me after the previous post expressing their wish to start something on their own. A few I bumped into expressed their desire to jump into entrepreneurship as well.

I have never felt any better!

One common refrain I hear though is ‘what business should I start’. My simple answer has been, ‘Whatever that interests you’. You see, you don’t decide to be an entrepreneur and then search for an idea. You get this fantastic idea that makes you want to get into entrepreneurship. In other words, you nurture a dream and go in search of realizing it.

Abdul Kalam in an interview to a Tamil TV channel explained what he meant when he said ‘the young should dream’. He said ‘a dream is not what happens when you sleep. A dream is one that doesn’t allow you to sleep’.

A quote, worth its weight in gold, which should be pasted on every room and etched in everyone’s heart - especially in every aspiring businessman.

To help those looking for the next big idea to venture into business, here are a few. These are virgin ideas – untested and unexplored. Well, that’s why they are virgins, aren’t they!

A book store only for kids: Agreed, there are more than a few book chains and standalone book stores. But my point is, are there many specialist kids’ book stores? A book shop only for kids? A place filled with cartoon characters; kids’ music; smaller racks for kids to browse easily and friendlier staff. Wouldn’t you feel better taking your kids to a pediatrician rather than to the doctor you go to? That’s what a kids’ book store would be for them!

A book store only for English novels: Staying on the subject of book stores, a bulk of books bought is of the fictional kind. So why bury it within philosophy and photography? Why hide fiction among management and material sciences? Why cover it with computers and cooking? Open a store that is filled with fiction – by genres, by authors, by time period, by classics. You can create a place of pure fantasy, unfettered with other nonsense.

A chain of Laundromats: More and more women are going to work; more and more men are choosing to live single; more and more bachelors move to newer towns to study and work. All this means one thing – lots of dirty clothes and no time to clean them. How about a chain of Laundromats a la Yankee style. On a Sunday morning or weekday evening, picky your clothes, walk to your nearest Laundromat, drop a few rupees, dump your dirty clothes, hang around a nearby restaurant or coffee shop, come back, pick up your clean clothes, go home……..live hygienically every after!

Funeral services: This is an idea whose power can be seen, unfortunately at the scene of bereavement. It’s sad when someone passes away. But it’s terrible to run the funeral amidst the loss of a dear one. Minds are numb, feelings are overwhelmed and rationality is clouded with heightened emotions. How could one still plan for everything, administer the arrangements and finalize every little thing. What about a ‘Funeral Services’ company that would enter the scene and execute every little thing smoothly – arranging for purohit, getting the funeral van, booking the cemetery, getting the doctor’s certificate to letting the body be cremated there, cleaning up the house post the departure etc., All for a fee, of course. So the loved ones can share their grief in peace.

Two-wheeler service centre: Aren’t there mechanics and 2-wheeler service centres dime a dozen in every neighbourhood? There is, agreed. But when 2-wheeler owners need to give their vehicles for a service, it’s a day they have to depend on public transport or the unreliable autos since most service centres are closed on Sundays. Now, if only there were a chain of 2-wheeler service centres (now that itself is a relatively new idea) that were open 24x7. You drive back from work or college, drop your vehicle in the 24x7 centre and go home; next day morning, on the way to college or work, you stop by your branded service centre, pick up your beauty and bingo you are on your way. A new idea, wouldn’t you agree!

These are just some starters. I am sure you have an incredible new business idea yourself. Maybe you would want to jump into it later. But if you don’t intend to, don’t let the idea die with you. Post your idea here. It’s as good as organ donation.

Someone might pick it up, pursue it, progress on it and prosper from it. And when the business becomes big, you can probably tell your grandkids that it was your idea.

Who knows, the guy who borrowed your idea might one day come back and buy you a beer!

Let a thousand flowers bloom

We are living in trying times – trying to get a job; trying to save our jobs; trying to save our monies; trying to keep our heads above waters. While certainly not a recession, the economy is certainly on slow-go mode. It’s more a recession of sentiments.

Truth be told, and I don’t wish to sound Johnny raincloud, this damn slowdown is sure to stay with us for another year or so, if not more.

Many talk about the difficulties of the middle class, the working class, the poor, the aspiring home owners and more. One segment that is facing the wrath of this slowdown, without getting the attention they deserve, is the MBA student who is about to graduate and is searching for a job in these troubled times. The unlucky one searching for a needle in the haystack; the sorry one searching for a buffalo in the middle of the night.

After investing two years and a few lakhs of their parent’s hard-earned money, after going through the grind of a grueling curriculum, after being on the verge of graduation and holding a million dreams of a prosperous job and a peaceful life thereafter, he/she is now left stranded with no jobs around, fewer takers and facing an uncertain future.

While my heart goes out for the about-to-graduate MBA, I also feel a bit disappointed in the attitude of many of them and feel let down by their dreams or rather the lack of it!

Whenever I get an opportunity I have been exhorting MBA students to be entrepreneurs and start a business venture of their own. I mean, why would anyone want to be an employee and take orders when they can be the boss and dictate terms?

I know many feel it easier said than done. Believe me; it’s as easy as it can be done. A fact borne out by the success achieved by many; so many, it doesn’t warrant a second mention here.

So, why would MBA’s gather cold feet about starting a business venture? Here are a few comments that I hear and here’s also what I tell them.

“I need to get some experience first. Let me work for some time and then think of starting a business of my own.”

I wonder if they would say the same to their would-be wife or husband. Will they pick their spouse based on prior experience and past track record? I mean, marriage and business involve the same level of risk. Why need experience in one when you don’t need or wish to have one for the other!

“Why the hurry to start something now? I am young; I have age on my side and can always start something later.”

One might have age on their side when they graduate. But will they have the fire when they reach, say 30? I doubt it. The young blood is risk-taking; the youth has fire in the belly; the inexperienced has the temerity to question established norms. As one reaches 30, one starts losing the exuberance of youth, get married, build a family and then it is all sunset for entrepreneurial dreams. How many of our successful first generation businessmen have started their businesses in their 30’s? A handful, if at all there are any. C.K. Ranganathan, promoter of Cavinkare, while talking to me about his entrepreneurial dreams said the secret of his success was the fact that he didn’t work for anyone and started his business right after college. He said he would have never been able to do what he had done if he hadn’t done it when he was 23. This is from someone who started from scratch and now runs a Rs.500 crore empire.

“I want to learn the business first. Let me learn it first working for others and then start something on my own.”

If you need to learn only by working for others, why would you do MBA in the first place? Isn’t MBA about teaching you the various facets of business and expose you to the art of running one? I wouldn’t agree MBA is just theoretical and one still needs practical knowledge. Then why have case studies in MBA curriculum? Why do projects? Why have summer internships? Why solve real-time corporate problems in the class? MBA is as practical as it is theoretical. Agreed, there is no substitute to experience. But I fail to understand why that experience can’t be gathered starting a venture of one’s own.

“I don’t have money now to start a business.”

Will they have money five years from now? Or ten years from now? And even if they do, they would be so comforted by that money, it would douse any entrepreneurial ambition that might be still left in their genes. Moreover, money has become the least of the obstacles for starting a business venture today. Banks are awash with money waiting for a good project. Angel investors are sitting with their office doors open for the next bright business idea. Venture capitalists are fishing around for that next gen entrepreneur. If you have the idea they have the money. And ready to help you run the business too.

My dear friend, we live in a great country that’s filled with the brightest minds the world has seen. We are at the threshold of golden opportunities. If only we could shed our inhibitions, gather our guts and fire our imagination, the world would become too small to accommodate our dreams and ambitions.

Venturing on your own has its risks, agreed. But it has its rewards too. The risks have, for a long time, been bloated and exaggerated by those who didn’t want to jump into entrepreneurship themselves. That shouldn’t stop you from realizing your dreams.

You can. And when you do, you would be big enough to employ tens if not hundreds or thousands of our fellow countrymen. Imagine what it can do to you; your family; this country. We can all reach the end of the proverbial rainbow – with money in our pockets, peace in our hearts, and prosperity in the nation. This country needs hundreds of C.K. Ranganathans. Take the plunge.

Let a thousand flowers bloom!

Readers’ choice: MM Awards 2

Regulars could recall the three categories that I threw open for readers’ votes for the Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards 2009: Brand Success of the Year, Marketer of the year and Expected Success in 2009. I didn’t venture my opinion but requested reader participation. While a few had cast their votes for the first two categories, there was hardly any entry for the third.

I could guess two reasons for the non-voting. One, no one wants to put themselves on the line and commit to something. Two, none of you feel there is any brand that could taste success in 2009, given the economic slowdown, falling sentiments etc. Either way, here is my choice for the three awards.

Brand Success of the Year 2008

Without a shade of doubt, 2008’s biggest brand success was the Indian Premier League (IPL). Be it the money it raked in, the interest it generated, the TV viewership it garnered or the advertising it attracted, IPL was the star brand of 2008.

Marketer of the Year 2008

Many had voted for Obama. Agreed Obama won. But guys, Bush had to lose. And that’s why Obama won. In other words, Bush had one of the worst ratings for a President in American history and had to lose. Any Pyjama or Uppuma would have won over Bush. That’s why I don’t consider Obama the Marketer of the year, though he did run a splendid campaign.

Because of the spectacular success of IPL, I grudgingly have to give the Marketer of the Year award to Lalit Modi, the guy who ran the whole show; the accusations of corruption, arrogance etc., levied against him notwithstanding. I believe there is truth in many of the accusations leveled against him but the success he had achieved, coupled with the fact that there weren’t any other brand that had tasted half as much success as IPL, forces me to be objective and hand over the award to him.

Expected Success in 2009

This was a toughie. Not because there were too many brands vying for attention but because there is hardly any in the horizon which remotely even suggest victory at the turnstiles. I am afraid this award is going to go blank this year. That doesn’t mean there isn’t going to be any brand success in 2009. It just means the initial signs of all those brands launched in 2008 aren’t encouraging. (IPL being an exception).

Here is three cheers to all the winners; the ones of my choice and the ones of yours. Even if they don’t match mine!

The Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards 2

It’s that time of the year; the time when everyone looks forward to the New Year (this post being a trifle late notwithstanding). Yet, this blog looks at the year gone by and attempts to identify the winners, the losers and the jokers!

Ladies and Gentlemen, may I present the Marketing Maayaajaalam Awards. And the winners are…

Best TV ad of the year: Airtel

I am talking about the ad where the dad ties his wrist along with his son’s to convince his young son he wouldn’t get lost and the son doing the same later in life with an Airtel connection. Rarely do we see such powerful insights in Indian advertising. And even rarely do we see an ad that is strong on strategy while being cute on creative. Without a shade of doubt, the ad of the year!

Brand failure of the year: Kuselan

Kuselan was touted the next big Rajini film after the stupendously successful Sivaji. That Rajini kept insisting that his role in the film was less than 25% got drowned by the hype and hoopla around the film. And when fans turned up in theatres expecting to see Rajini all the way, they were in for a depressing disappointment. Expectedly the crowds gave the film a big thumps down. The distributors ended up with massive losses, the theatre owners with empty seats and Rajini with eggs on his face (sadly though, he didn’t deserve it since he had always maintained he was doing only a guest role in the film). Kuselan, this year’s biggest brand failure of the year.

The brand joke of the year: Airtel Digital TV

You have to hand it to Airtel for making us laugh. I don’t know about you. But I certainly enjoyed Airtel’s sense of humour. Airtel Digital TV! What an idea. What a joke!

Expected failure in 2009: Vivel

What is Vivel? Soap? Yes. What kind of soap? Everything. It has an ayurvedic variant; a natural variant; even a couple of cosmetic variants. Is that all? No, Vivel is a shampoo too. Serious? Yeah, Vivel has a range of shampoos. That’s it? No, Vivel has a premium variant too. Vivel de Wills. Great. What next? Vivel Filter cigarettes? Ladies and gentlemen, expect Vivel to flop without a trace in 2009.

To make this year’s awards a trifle more interactive, I am offering three categories to you to make your choice: ‘Brand Success of the Year’, ‘Marketer of the Year’ and ‘Expected Success in 2009’. Send in your choice, along with your reasons for selection, and let me see if it matches mine!

Remember, this blog is extremely democratic. It always welcomes differing views, countering viewpoints and varied opinions. Yet, the final decision would be unmistakably mine!

Filler 2

A Quality Engineer married an average girl.

After two tough years of life with her, he got angry and sent a note to his father-in-law stating: "YOUR PRODUCT IS NOT MEETING MY REQUIREMENTS".

The smart father-in-law sent an equally curt reply: "WARRANTY EXPIRED. MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE."

Filler

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus.

She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her. She immediately moved to another seat. This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused. When on the fourth move, she had the man arrested.

The case came up in court. The judge asked the man what he had to say for himself. The man replied, 'Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition. She sat under a sweets sign that said, 'The Double Mint Twins are coming' and I grinned.

Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, ' Logan 's Liniment will reduce the swelling', and I had to smile.

Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, 'William's Big Stick Did the Trick,' and I could hardly contain myself.

But, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said, 'Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this accident'... I just lost it.'

The judge had just one thing to say: CASE DISMISSED!

The terrorists won. We lost. What next?

I had wanted to pen my thoughts about the terror strike in Mumbai, the day it occurred. Yet I resisted the urge since I knew my emotions would cloud my judgment (though it’s not necessarily wrong) and my post would just be filled with raging anger, bubbling patriotism and all that.

I wanted to let the dust settle down, literally and figuratively, to help look at the whole incident, or accident if you wish to call it, more objectively. I know everyone and his uncle, newspapers and magazines have all condemned the dastardly act, praised our country’s resilience and have even christened the killing of the terrorists as our great victory over terror.

Did we win?

Run the whole thing down quickly, will you. Terrorists land on the shores of Mumbai, past the patrolling navy and beyond the city police cordon; shoot down people in prime spots – railway stations, pubs, residential complexes and city roads; storm the most iconic hotels of the city; kill more than 200 innocent people, Americans and Jews included; hold out the army, commandos and the police for more than 60 hours; get international media exposure; cause an estimated Rs.50,000 crores of damage both to property and public image; help put the country back on the defensive; force Government to act tough on Pakistan giving them a valid excuse to pull 100,000 lakh of their troops from the Afghan border and move them towards India thus effectively letting Afghanistan-based Muslim militants to move into Pakistan at will. And do all this by losing just 10 of their men (or rather animals).

The terrorists won. We lost. Period.

The terrorists wanted to achieve all of this and they succeeded. They might have planned for more and we might have stopped them. But whatever they wanted, they got. In short, they won; we lost.

Before you get angry and scream at me for blasphemy and downright lack of patriotism, hear me out first. I am seething with anger too. Unlike most of you, I am angry not just because we lost our people, property and our pride. I am also angry because we lost. And I am angry because we needn’t have had to.

This country’s military intelligence had let us down. Or if they had to be believed, the Navy and defense had let us down. Or if they had to be believed, the Central Government had let us down. And if they had to be believed the State machinery had let us down. And all of them together had let hundreds of innocent people down.

But for all of them, Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan would have gone home to be with his parents. A certain Mr. Bannerjee would have gone back to Kolkatta to get married by the end of this month. Mr. Kapoor would have gone back to his office to continue being the Chairman of Yes Bank. And hundreds of others would have gone back home to their loved ones.

Alas, those were not to be.

All of us, you, me, the politicians, the media….the entire system let this great country of ours down. Down the bloody drain.

The politicians made the intelligence apparatus serve their ends and means; the Government, including the Prime Minister’s office, sat on intelligence reports about a possible strike. The media, by covering the entire gruesome attack live, were giving out valuable military information and strike possibilities to the terrorists inside the hotels helping them dodge the commandos. The whole system had gotten immune to all these killings and has learnt to restrict them to mere statistics. And you and me are guilty too for not questioning all this and letting this country rot all these years.

We lost the Mumbai battle. But we haven’t lost the war yet. There is yet hope. Don’t expect the politicians to change; don’t hope for the Government to wake up. But we can. You and me!

The seething rage among us had scared the politicians and the Government apparatus. They have gone into a hiding. Did you notice there was hardly a politician who appeared on TV or were available for an interview. They are shit scared to face the public.

If only we could sustain this pressure. If only we stand united and show our clenched fists and controlled anger at them, the Government and the politicians would act. They would know they don’t stand a chance against us. Remember, we have a powerful weapon among our midst. A nuclear Armageddon. It’s called our ‘vote’. It’s called our ‘voice’. If only we could unleash its power, it will reverberate far more than was heard in the corridors of the Taj.

And once we clean up the mess in our country, we can go hunting. Across the border, if it has to be, and search for all those militants and catch them by the scruff of their necks and first thank them for helping us unite together and then ‘kill those bastards’ one by one!

We owe it to Major Sandeep Unnikrishnan and a hundred others.

The dosa brand and the visa scam

Saravana Bhavan never fails to dish out hot stuff - within their restaurants; and outside it as well. Chennai’s arguably finest restaurant is in the news again.

But before I get to the news, a few words about Saravana Bhavan if you know precious little about this brand.

Saravana Bhavan was started in 1971 by a guy named Rajagopalan, who started his life as a shop boy and dreamed of making it big in the restaurant business. And boy did be make it big or what!

His hotel – the first choice in south Indian dishes and the last word in taste - became synonymous with impeccable quality and exceptional service. It never advertised in the mass media. The brand’s customers did. Saravana’s customers could never stop talking about its variety of its menu; the delicacy of its offerings; the precision of its servings; and the warmth of its service.

Saravana Bhavan became a case study in more ways than one. Not just in marketing classes and discussions. But in HR practices too. Each one of its employees handpicked from interior Tamil Nadu is trained, ruthlessly, it looks so. Yet treated with utmost care. I understand every employee is insured; given a month’s pay along with leave to visit their loved ones in their hometowns.

No wonder the brand has grown. To more than 50 odd branches – not just here in India, but also all across the globe. If my memory serves me right, Saravana Bhavan has more than a dozen branches in the U.S. alone. And continues to grow at a rate that could put a South American inflation to shame!

Did I say Saravana Bhavan is in the news? Correction; the brand isn’t. Its owners were earlier, and now are again. First, a few years back, its owner Rajagopalan, was caught in a murder case. He was accused of killing a husband whose wife, he had wanted to remarry. That Rajagopalan had a few wives already serving him is another matter altogether. The man who prides in serving 14-idlies, 7-uthampams wanted the same variety in his personal life as well, I presume! The case is still in court and expected to be that way for another decade. His arrest and the case itself continues to hog the headlines to this day.

One of his two sons, Sivakumar, is now in the news. Reason: he had allegedly fabricated visas for four of his employees to take them to the U.S. and get them employed in Saravana Bhavan restaurants there. The press, that constantly craves for brutal rapes, gruesome murders and downright deceptions, has found this news a godsend. It has been hogging the news like it’s the end of the world.

Now, did Sivakumar try to cheat? Is he involved in human trafficking? Did his dad encroach on another’s marital property? Did he murder? Who knows? Who cares? Who bothers?

Not me, definitely.

I don’t care if he and his dad did or didn’t. I don’t give much to their sexual habits or secretive ways. But what interests me is its impact or, more precisely the lack of it, on the brand, Saravana Bhavan.

If you had expected all this negative publicity to impact the brand, you are right in expecting so. Most brands get too intertwined with their founders or the management. Case in point: Kingfisher and Vijay Mallya, Cavinkare and C.K. Ranganathan, Infosys and Narayanamurthy etc., But no, not Saravana Bhavan. The brand continues to march ahead as if nothing happened around it.

I was in two of its outlets these last few days. And it has been business as usual. In fact, I suspect business has even picked up. I had to wait before I could get a chair to park myself to feast on Saravana’s sumptuous offerings. And this was in one of its outlets that had a seating capacity of close to 150! And I was there around 4 P.M. – hardly lunch time you would call.

Is there a lesson for us marketers here? You bet there is. Especially to family-led businesses. The lesson is this: Distance yourself from your brand. Nurture your brand and help it grow and all that. But don’t put your face to the brand. Let the brand have a face of its own. Remember, it could be your baby, but it is public property. It will outlive you; it has to. It grows independently of you. And grows faster. Spreads wider. Lives longer.

Even if you treat yourself on others’ wives or transport human parcels.